Walk Strong

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I know it may sound less-than-exciting, especially if you’re more of a feisty personality like yours truly but the best thing you can do in self-defense is to not be there. Yup. Mr. Miyagi was right when he said in the Karate Kid, “No be there.” 

Avoiding a dangerous situation starts with two things: presenting yourself with confidence and being aware of your surroundings. When you walk with confidence, you will consequently be more present and aware of your surroundings and able to listen to your instincts and note any red flags about a place or a person. 

When someone of ill-repute (whether a stranger or someone we know) wants to find a target, they want an easy prey. 

Don’t be an easy target!! 

We can do this by focusing on how we walk, making eye contact and using our voice. 

A study was done in the 80’s in New York City by two psychologists that I find fascinating. They set up a video camera in an intersection in New York City for 3 days in a row for 2 hours a day, simply recording people walking. Then they showed this footage to prisoners incarcerated for violent attacks and asked them a simple question. “Who would you choose as your victim?” They ALL chose the SAME victims!! What! The feedback these prisoners gave was that it was all based on how the person carried themselves. A shuffled walk, a distracted person, someone low on confidence, eyes down, chin down, etc. These types of predators want an easy target and they want someone who won’t give them a fight. 

I don’t care if you have to fake it at first until you really have the confidence but please don’t present yourself as an easy target. Start today. Now. 

Practical ways you can do this?

-Walk with a strong, confident gate. Not with steps too short or too long. Just right. 

-Shoulders back, chin up! This also helps you be aware of your surroundings.

-Make eye contact. Even if someone makes you feel uncomfortable. Actually it’s even more important then because it not only tells the person you see them but also that you aren’t intimidated and will not go down easily. 

You got this! 

Weapons Options

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Some of My Favorite Choices

When it comes to weapons for self-defense, it’s up to you to understand the legal ramifications of your choice. Choose something that you’re confident you can put the violence behind if needed. Understand that if you choose to use a weapon in self-defense, you’ll need to be able to articulate to the police why you were in fear for your life and why you needed to act in self-defense. I do not say this to sway your decision in acting violently to defend yourself or your loved one but rather to prepare you that what you say after an altercation is very important. A little sub-note on that:

Don’t be unsure in your words. Many times our nerves can make us spill out words that we may regret. If that’s you, know that about yourself and know that you can simply say “I acted in self-defense and I feared for my life. I’d like to have a lawyer, please.” And then close your mouth and wait politely.

Ok now that that’s out of the way, let’s get down to some of my favorite things to carry. Weapons fall under 3 categories: Lethal, non-lethal and less-than-lethal. We won’t go into which ones are legal where. If you choose to carry one or all of these, make sure you do your part in knowing when and where you’re allowed to and if it’s the best option for you. These are pretty personal decisions and it can be different for everyone. I hope that this will at least inspire you to explore options and choose something that you will love to carry! In no particular order…

-Knife.

Smith and Wesson M&P spring-assist is my favorite right now but I’m in the process of finding a fixed blade that is suitable for me. I have small hands, even for a female, so I want something that I can easily and quickly retrieve and handle with confidence. K-Bar is a great one and I’m excited to check out Shivworks’ El Nino. When choosing a knife, think about where you will carry it, how easily you can get to it and have it out and blade length. Most normal knives are legal to carry unless the blade is absolutely massive. Choose something that’s comfortable in your hands. Think about blade angle and what type of damage it will do when used.

-GoGuarded Runner’s Ring

This is a great one to have when I’m walking or running trails alone. I don’t wear it around my kids because it does have an exposed blade that is just covered but a silicone layer. When you make your hand into a fist, this allows the blade to stick out. Think sort of like Wolverine but just one blade. The pros in this option is that you don’t have to worry about carrying it or dropping it. Side-note: When adrenaline is rushing and you’re in a fight, have you ever noticed how your small motor skills decrease so you have to rely more on your large motor skills? It’s because God created our bodies to draw blood in to cushion our organs to protect them. How cool is that?

-Pepper Spray

There are many different types and brands of pepper spray or gel. Think about factors like if it’s windy, pepper spray may blow back and affect your own eyes! We don’t want that. Also know that while it can slow them down, it might not necessarily stop an attack altogether. If you choose this, don’t just leave it in your purse. Have it readily accessible and be aware enough of your surroundings that you can easily get it ready in your hands and the trigger unlocked. If you wait to do this, it’ll most likely be too late and there’s no point to carry it except to give you a boost of confidence. Which is good because it will probably subconsciously make you walk in a more confident way and therefore be less of an easy target. Byrna is a brand that has lots of options in this category. There’s even a Byrna Gun that shoots out a spread of a special combo of pepper spray! The one I have is by Sabre that I just got off of Amazon. It also has a seatbelt slicer and window breaker. It came in a pack of two and was pretty cheap!

-Gun

My favorite is the Hellcat and my favorite way to carry is appendix but familiarize yourself and find a holster that you like. There are so many resources now – even “belt bags” (we all know they’re just fanny packs called a different name now!) that have compartments to safely holster your firearm. Handle different brands and find one that is perfect for your hand size and does the job you need it to do. Practice drawing your firearm while it is unloaded so that this action can become smooth. Please practice your skills and understand that there are consequences to those around you, should you choose to carry.

-Baton. There are different sizes and types. The one I have I’m familiar with is a Smith and Wesson telescopic one. It’s a little larger and can’t just slide into your pocket but could be kept in a car door. This one falls under the category of “less than lethal weapons,” which I think is a funny name but it does make sense. Be sure you know the legal ramifications of where you might strike someone. Look it up!

-Self-Defense Kitty Keychains

These sound silly but they’re actually a pretty good option to have on you. It’s usually a keychain in the shape of a cat’s head. Your fingers go through the eye holes and the ears are sharp and can be used to…improve your punch. Again, this is only as effective as the violence you can put behind it.

-Defender Ring

This is one that I don’t own yet but I’m pretty curious about. Check it out. It has great reviews, a lifetime guarantee, most likely will not be flagged and taken by TSA but if it is confiscated, they’ll send you a replacement. How cool is that?! There are a few different options. Some look like a pearl which unscrews to reveal a blade. Others look like a band with a wave on it but the tip of the wave is sharp. There are small and large size options. Obviously with the pearl or otherwise topped ones, you’d need to be very aware of your surroundings to know it’s time to unscrew it. You can’t just “Hold on, sir. I’ve go to unscrew my ring. Hang tight…” However if you do unscrew the top when needed and you lose that piece, their customer service seems pretty great and will replace it if lost in that situation. I’m unsure how much damage these rings would actually do but I love that you can wear it and take it almost anywhere.

-Tactical Pen

If going through airport security you *might* be able to get through (I have successfully through 2 large airports). I did put the cap on the end of it to cover up the narrow end and put it in the same pocket as my other normal pens. You can find this on Amazon and it works as a normal pen too.

There are so many options and varieties of options even from the ones I have listed here. I hope this list helps you and even if you don’t choose one listed here, I hope that you will be inspired to find a weapon that you feel safe and comfortable carrying.

You got this!

Tips For Traveling

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5 Tips To Keep You Safe When Traveling

Just like you would be situationally aware and present yourself confidently when you are in your home town and comfort zone, you must do the same but dial up your level just a bit when you travel.

Whether you travel with a group, with work, with family or alone, it’s important to keep your safety in mind and pay attention to your surroundings. Here are some safety tips for your journey:

1.)Act Confident

I don’t care if you have no clue where you’re going or what you’re doing. Don’t look lost. This will only make it easier for someone with ill-intent to spot you and hone in on you as an easy target. Blend in – don’t stand out like the tourist you are. If you think you may be being followed, say, in an airport for example, strike up conversation with a trustworthy-looking family or group and don’t be afraid to make eye-contact with your follower. Let them know that you do see them and you’re not afraid to do or say something.

2.)Don’t make it easy.

Keep valuables at a minimum. If you need to carry cash or a card that’s fine, but maybe don’t flaunt it in a designer handbag. Layer your money with small bills on the outside and larger bills on the inside. Don’t carry your phone in an outside open pocket in your bag or pants. Especially in large crowds, this can make it easy for someone to slide it out and be gone before you realize it. By then it’s probably too late for you to track it if they know what they’re doing. Minimize what you carry and when you do need a purse or a bag, choose a backpack or cross-body style so it’s harder to get. Think about details, like where the zipper openings are and how easy it would be for someone behind you on a busy sidewalk or a tram to slide something out. Keep valuables on an inside pocket or across your chest so you can see them at all times. When parking your car, don’t leave any bags in sight. Criminals have breaking into cars down to a science and they’re super efficient. It doesn’t take long and they don’t really care if it’s daytime or a busy area. In fact, sometimes that makes it easier.

3.)Keep your hands free and your eyes up.

As always but especially when traveling, having your hands free leaves you less-distracted, it allows your gate when walking to be stronger and appear more confident and it allows your hands to be free to reach for a self-defense tool if you have one on you (and I hope that you do, if possible). When you’re in airports, bus stops, etc., keep your belongings on you or wrapped around an arm or leg at all times. Not only will this help you if you’re like me and have adhd and “out of sight out of mind,” but it will also help you not to leave things behind or allow them to be easily taken. I like to minimize what I carry and have what I need easily accessible so I’m not fumbling around. My carryon is usually a medium sized backpack and then a belt bag that has my essentials that I need more regularly. For me, these are my ID, my cell phone and obviously, lip gloss.

4.)Choose a weapon

…or some type of tool that you are comfortable using and have it readily accessible. Obviously, there are places that don’t allow true weapons so use your creativity for items that could work as weapons. Be sure to familiarize yourself with the laws in the place that you travel and know whether that weapon is allowed on your person. No need to have to deal with jail time if you don’t have to. As always, be super comfortable and confident in your choice and know that some weapons need quite a bit of violence put behind them in order for them to do their job. My favorite to carry is a knife. When checking it in my luggage, I put it in my toiletry or makeup bag so it’s not just out there. Yes, sadly things get stolen out of our luggage. Don’t make it easy.

5.)Don’t announce where you’re staying.

Whether it’s from social media or your mouth, be sure to be aware of your audience when you talk about your travel. When you’re out of town makes a great time for home intrusions if they know they’re less likely to get caught. Once at your destination, take note about who is around when speaking aloud about where you’re staying, which room number, etc. When using an elevator, ask others what floor they’re going to first before pressing your own button. Use your instincts as to whether you should continue on to your floor or if you need to get off the elevator.

As always, with all tips for self-defense, please take these as a way to give yourself freedom and confidence to travel. Be prepared, not paranoid. Have a blast and enjoy the journey.

You got this!

When Going Alone

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Let’s face it. There are times that you want to or need to walk somewhere alone, be it nighttime or daytime. That’s totally fine, but I want to share some tips with how to keep yourself safe when you do this. 

You might be walking alone in a parking lot, on a sidewalk or you may be taking a walk or run in your neighborhood streets, park, or nature trail. Whatever your situation, you need to be aware of your surroundings and have your guard a level up since you’re alone. 

Note this, though: the key in all of the self-defense tips I give you is to be prepared, not paranoid. Being prepared and confident should give you freedom, not have you live in fear. 

Alright so here are some practical tips to keep yourself safe in different situations. 

Parking lots:

-Park in a well-lit area. Some people feel safer parking right next to the cart return if at a grocery store. 

-Be aware of people inside nearby cars when parking and when walking to and from your vehicle. Obviously not everyone is just waiting for their next prey, but know that it does happen and people do sometimes work as a team. 

-Do not sit in your car unnecessarily or distracted. 

-Check your surroundings, keeping your chin up and eyes alert. Make a mental note of unusual behavior. Greet people with a smile! This can not only brighten a normal person’s day but also let a predator know that you know they’re there. 

Sidewalks:

-I would say don’t walk too close to the curb but I’ve been on plenty of sidewalks that have little alleyways and crannies on the inside of the sidewalk as well. So comfortably in the middle is a good idea. 

-Make note of people making the same turns as you, whether on your side or on the opposite side of the street. 

-If you feel in danger, pop into the closest busy or well-lit store. Stay until you feel safe or call someone who can meet you there. 

-Use your surroundings! Many sidewalks have window fronts that work great to casually check your surroundings by looking in the reflection to check behind you.

Parks/Trails:

-Always tell someone where you’re going and when you estimate you’ll be back. 

-Use an app or other tracking and sharing device to share your location with a trusted friend or loved one. 

-Don’t use the same trail over and over. Change up your route occasionally. 

-Go Guarded has a great runner’s ring you should check out.

-Stay in well-lit or well-populated areas when you can.

The basics remain the same wherever you go. Be situationally aware and don’t present yourself as an easy target. Keeping your ID on you is also a good idea so that you can be identified, if God-forbid anything happens to you. I would absolutely advise finding a weapon (lethal or non-lethal; the choice is up to you) you can keep on your person that you are comfortable using. Just be prepared to put any necessary violence behind that weapon and know that it is up to you know the legalities surrounding that choice and the state or country you are in. 

You got this! 

Fortitude Mindset

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STRENGTH OF MIND

The definition of “fortitude” starts out not by saying the strength of a person’s physical body is what enables them to do what seems impossible but rather the strength of their *mind.*

Fortitude is the “strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage.” 

Believing that you *can* protect yourself and that you absolutely have the right to that ability is imperative to being able to defend yourself when needed.

Training is essential and allows your body to follow through on that belief when needed.

I cannot wait for you to see in yourself what I see in you and what I know is there. A strong person, able to unlock fierceness and ability to present yourself with confidence, to assess a situation, note the dangers, listen to your God-given intuition, and do whatever is necessary next. Escape or fight. 

”Self-defense is not just a set of techniques. It’s a state of mind and it begins with the belief that you are worth defending.” -Rorion Gracie

You are loved and you are strong. Be confident and know that I’m thrilled to be right here to help you as you learn.

You got this!